


cruciatus

by sadinsomniac



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Blood, Child Abuse, Cruciatus Curse (Harry Potter), Hurt Sirius Black, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Panic Attacks, Protective James Potter, Protective Remus Lupin, Violence, Walburga Black's A+ Parenting, injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:27:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24515368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadinsomniac/pseuds/sadinsomniac
Summary: After Sirius betrays the Marauders he’s sent home for the holidays.But his families abuse becomes too much and he’s forced to seek help from the friends he ruined.Will they accept him after his mistakes?
Relationships: Sirius Black & James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 319





	cruciatus

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to say that I wasn’t sure how to rate this but there is violence at the beginning along with a tiny incest mention. That’s all I hope u enjoy ;)
> 
> o and this ain’t beta read ;-;

His nerves lit on fire, pain filling all of his senses, the burning relentless, his mind blank and confused as to when the pain began and when it would end. Screams echoed in his ears, sounding muffled as though underwater, drowning. The fire stopped as he panted, lungs wheezing at each breath, as he opened his eyes, everything blurred from the tears which threatened to leak from his usually sharp grey eyes.

“You absolute filth. Mingling with mudbloods and embarrassing our name with your faggot tendencies. We should’ve drowned you from the moment you were born.” Walburga Blacks voice was cold as she spat at her son, lip curled in a sneer of distain.

“Have you learned your lesson yet boy?” Orion Black sneered into the ear of his oldest son, crouched uncomfortably close to the injured boy.

“Don’t get so close to me you incestual bastards.”

Brave words were rasped from split lips as blood splattered out of his mouth at each word. Sirius Black glared up at his parents from the ground, only able to open one eye as the other was swelled shut. His back coated in bleeding slashes from his mothers oh so creative spells. His face & torso bruised and bloody from his fathers steel tipped boots. His nerves screaming in protest from the relentless uses of the cruciatus curse on his starved body.

“How dare you!” exclaimed his mother, waving her wand as she let out a furious, 

“Crucio!”

The boy spasmed on the ground, mouth wide in a soundless scream as his voice box finally burned out from the unknown amount of hours of pure pain. His fathers boot smashed into his shin, sending a jolt through his leg as the broken boy jolted, hands gripping his head in a feeble attempt of self defence. Gripping at the short hair on his head, after his parents had gone at his hair the second he arrived back at the nightmare that was the Grimmauld Place. Cutting it so that the longest strand reached just below his cheekbone. His pain was abruptly interrupted by a slightly panicked voice.

“Mother!”

The curse lifted, leaving Sirius panting and crying on the ground, curling in on himself in a futile attempt to ease the pain. Walburga & Orion Black looked up to the door to see their other son Regulus standing awkwardly at the door, eyes purposely avoiding the sight of his brother collapsed on the ground, curled up in a pool of his own blood.

“The mails arrived. I heard father talking of something important awaiting to arrive and theirs a lot of letters.” The boys voice wavered in his obvious anxiety of the situation in front of him.

The two parents glanced at one another and sighed, putting their wands away and walking away from their crippled son on the ground, Orion giving him a kick in the gut as he sauntered past. As he was about to leave the room he looked back at the broken body on the ground,

“this isn’t over yet boy,” before marching away down the dark halls of the Grimmauld Place.

Sirius spared a glance upwards, the door still partially opened as he strained his more sensitive animagus ears to hear the door of the kitchen closing. Followed closely by the sight of his panicked younger brother rushing over to him, eyes wide in fear, anger and worry.

“Why can’t you just be quiet for one,” he muttered, hands hovering over his brothers battered body in uncertainty.

“Ah you know me Reg,” Sirius went to sit up before hissing, blood bubbling from his lips as he slumped back down, “I just cant help myself.”

Regulus’ eyes widened at the blood trickling from Sirius’ mouth, “we need to get you the fuck out of here.”

His eyes scanned the room before landing on the chimney and floo powder, as luckily for them Sirius’ torture session of the day was being held in their fathers office. He wrapped his arm around his brothers waist, cringing as Sirius hissed in pain whilst stumbling towards the chimney, already understanding the plan.

He staggered in, leaning against the soot covered walls, probably getting dirt in his masses of cuts. Regulus grabbed some floo powder before placing it firmly in his brothers hand before grabbing his shoulders forcefully.

“Please tell me you have somewhere safe to go, I can’t have you dying on me.”

Despite the pain etched into every feature of Sirius’ person, he still managed to smirk at his little brother, “don’t worry Reg, you ain’t getting rid of me yet.”

With a nod Regulus stepped away whilst Sirius took a deep breath before slurring our the words, “Potter mansion.”

Green flames engulfed the injured boy, his slurred words landing him outside the gate of the mansion rather than inside but it was close enough. With a pained groan the animagus boy pulled himself to his feet, leaning heavily on the gate before realising that it was probably extremely late, and he was already soaked from his short time in the pounding rain. Grunting and groaning he stumbled towards the neatly painted front door. Falling against it slightly before dragged himself up and knocking half heartedly.

** _ — JAMES POV — _ **

The rain battered the windows as he sipped his ice water at 4am, eyes cast out into his pitch black darkness. Usually James Potter was the type to fall asleep with ease at around 8 every night. Making him a joke between his best friends.

Atleast when they were his best friends.

Until one certain dumbass of his group nearly ended up murdering a student and causing the execution of another.  _Fucking Sirius_ he thought grimly, his heart twisting at the thought of his former best friend and self proclaimed brother. His brain however, argued against the forgiving lump in his chest. Sirius had almost sent Snape to his death at the hands of Moony, all because of some sort of disagreement that made him think it was somehow justified for Remus to be the one to kill Snape. 

Remus Lupin who had begged his friends to keep his furry secret. Remus who was head over heels in love with Sirius and anyone with eyes could see that the other boy reciprocated the feelings. Yet he still managed to betray Remus, and therefore betray the Marauders. Resulting in Sirius being pretty much exiled from their group. Non of them saw Sirius anymore, they woke up every morning and his bed was empty, every meal of the day the long haired boy was gone, he could only be seen in the back of classrooms. Where he would once have been laughing obnoxiously and pranking everyone in sight, he would now slump over himself, shooting cold looks at anyone that dared to look at his direction.

James felt guilt rise up in his throat at he remembered punching the slightly shorter boy in the cheek, sneering at the slightly smaller boy, “ugh, you really are just like your family. A true Black.” He remembered spitting the name in distain before leaving the boy, pretending he didn’t see the broken empty gaze in his once joyful eyes.

He gulped more icey water, choking slightly and bringing him out of the abyss of memories that was Sirius Black. It had been weeks since the incident and he missed the raven haired boy tremendously, but for him to be thinking of him at 4am was more than strange. But he just couldn’t sleep. A dark twisted feeling curled in his gut, and James Potter never ignored his gut feeling.

As he washed out his glass a soft tapping made him freeze. It was nearing half four in the morning.  _ Probably just the rain  _ he thought glumly. Before a harder, louder noise snapped him into high alert. Because there was no mistaking that anything other than a knock on his front door. He heard the soft creaking of his stairs, looking up to see his father, Fleamont Potter creaking down the stairs, wand in hand. James tensed at the sight, as they all watched the door again. Before a soft weak voice broke through the battering sound of the rain.

“James...?”

Without processing his movements he rushed towards the door, ignoring his fathers panicked hiss as he flung open the door, a flash of lighting obscuring his vision for a moment before it landed on the curled up figure in front of him. He wouldn’t have been able to guess who it was until painfully familiar grey eyes looked up at him.

“Sirius?” 

Before he could stutter out his onslaught of questions the boy collapsed forwards, falling into his arms as a jolt of panic zipped down his spine. He picked up the boy, horrified at he felt his hand land on a thick sticky substance, along with concern at how light he was. Sirius had always been slim but he used to be toned and healthy, the boy in his arms felt like nothing but skin and bone.

“Quickly James get him in!” his fathers sharp voice snapped him from his thoughts as he half carried the boy inside, his father slamming shut the front door and switching on all the lights so they could finally see what had happened. 

James gaped at the boy. The left side of his face was completely bruised, his eye swollen shut with his lip split and dried blood on his chin, looking like it had come from his mouth. His right eyebrow also sporting a cut. James couldn’t help but frown at the boys hair, Sirius had constantly boasted and ranted about his long luscious locks, but it was now a short undercut, soaked in both water and blood as it was plastered to his forehead.

“Euphemia!” he heard his father shout before turning to James, “quickly bring him to the kitchen.” He rushed after his father, watching the man dump the contents off their table before grabbing a sheet and placing it on top. As carefully as possible, he placed the unconscious boy in the solid table. A soft hand on his shoulder jerked him from the horror in front of him, spinning to face his mother,

“James, grab me some warm water, not boiling just warm.”

With a nod he spun around whilst his mother and father cut off Sirius’ clothes, frowning and gaping at the mess that was his body. His ribs were black and blue, as well as painfully obvious on his starved looking body. Some ribs evidently broken whilst his stomach was covered in dark red bruising, sending much more concern at obvious internal damage inflicted on the boy. Gently prodding Sirius’ shoulder, Fleamont pulled his back off the table, face scrunched at the sight of the deep gashes covered in dirt on his back. Some still oozing blood.

James rushed back into the room with the warm water, placing it on the empty space on the table, eyes glued on the friend he had abandoned. He was pulled a few steps away gently by his father as his mother began to work rapidly on the injured boy. Wiping down the blood, and healing the more severe injures with the flick of her wand. Sirius still out cold despite how painful it probably was. 

And then he let it out. Spinning away from his injured friend James rushed to his sofa, collapsing into the soft pillows and sobbing.  _ What if he could’ve changed this by just being there. If they hadn’t been ignoring Sirius maybe they could’ve convinced him to stay at Hogwarts and this would have never happened. What if it was all his fault and Sirius didn’t make it?  _ He felt himself choke on his sob at the last thought before continuing the cry into the pillows. A soft blanket draped over him as tears spilled endlessly from his eyes. Exhaustion both physically and mentally weighing him down until he fell asleep with wet tear tracks still staining his face.

**_ — 7am — _ **

A loud crashing noise jolted James from his uneasy sleep. Confusion clouding he brain as he questioned what the noise was and why he was on the sofa. He looked at the ground to see a blood stain on the floor and all of his memories rapidly caught up. And the noise came from..  _ The Kitchen.  _

He panicked sprinting towards the kitchen and sliding on the wooden floors before feeling his heart break. Sirius had fallen off the table and was curled up in the corner. His face still bruised and messed up, but the rest of his body was covered in gauze and bandages. His ribs completely wrapped along with the entirety of his back being coated in gauze and bandages. His shin also wrapped tightly, emphasising how skinny his legs had become.

But his eyes were the worst part. The grey eyes which usually shined with mischief and excitement were dialated with fear, a glazed sheen over them as Sirius hyperventilated, hands gripping his short hair as he shook violently. 

James took a step forward, hands out in a placating gesture as if comforting a wild animal. 

“Hey Sirius,” he murmured softly, the boy flinching at his name, “You’re completely safe. You’re at the Potter Mansion. With James, James Potter, you’re brother.” His voice broke slightly at the word brother but he pushed through as Sirius’ eyes raised upwards, squinting at James before murmuring a raspy,

“James..?”

James felt himself get swamped with guilt at the disbelief which flashed in Sirius’ eyes,

“yeah buddy it’s me. I’m gonna come alittle closer ok?”

He watched the boy, who simply stared at nothing before inclining his head slightly. As smoothly as possible James made his way over to the curled up boy, close enough to touch as the boy rasped and wheezed heavily, but still doing better than his previous hyperventilating.

“That’s it buddy,” he grinned softly, “take deep breaths in and out, come on you’re ok.” 

James couldn’t help but panic internally, he had no idea what he was doing, but it seemed to work well enough as soon the glazed look in Sirius’ eyes cleared. Leaving the grey orbs empty and void.

“James?” the boy murmured in confusion, mouth gaping slightly, if it weren’t for the horrors of the moment James might’ve teased him about it.

“Before the questions begin let’s get out of this corner and get to the couch, it’s cold down here,” he grunted as he climbed to his feet, hooking his arm under Sirius’ arm, apologising softly as Sirius hissed, climbing to his feet and wincing with each step on his bandages leg before collapsing on the couch, panting after such a short endevour with help.

Sirius curled into the corner of the sofa, looking awkwardly at his hands as he’s played with the bandages wrapped around his wrists, still shirtless.

“Ahh, shit you’re probably cold, I’ll go grab you a hoodie,” swinging off the sofa James leapt up the stairs, only stopping once he entered his room. He paused before grabbing a hoodie, leaving his room and heading towards his parents room, where he knew they had a muggle telephone to keep in contact with their muggle friends.

He knew both of them were out shopping so he barged in and lunged for the phone, squinting at his tiny piece of paper with Remus’ phone number. After struggling it finally started calling. James tensed his arms as he awaited for the werewolf to pick up.

“Hello?” a drowsy voice sounded but it was without a doubt Remus Lupin,

“Remus! Oh thank god it’s James,”

“James? How and why are you calling?”

James hesitated, wondering how he should tell his best friend that their other best friend they’d ignore for weeks had been beaten and starved by his parents.

“James..?”

“It’s uhh... It’s Sirius,” he murmurs awkwardly,

“What about Sirius?” James flinched internally at the coldness in his voice as the mention of the boy.

“He’s— Theres been an incident...” he trailed off still unsure of what to say.

“James what do you mean what happened?” the drowsy tone was gone from Remus’ voice, the coldness now filled with concern.

“His parents. His fucking parents did a number on him and I don’t know what to do,” he broke off with a soft sob.

“What the fuck do you mean! Is he hurt? How bad is it?” 

James composed himself, “my mum treated him but god Moons he arrived in the middle of the night soaked in blood, he’s really flinchy and god his eyes. He looks soulless Remus.”

He heard a deep intake of breath, “I-Im coming over,” his words cut off by a bang and mumbled curses, “Im gonna come now.”

“Ok Moons just... Be careful with him ok?”

The call cut off and James ran back downstairs to see Sirius had fallen back asleep, shivering slightly before James threw the hoodie and a blanket over him.

A frantic knock at his front door signalled that Remus had arrived, carefully he swung open the door, looking up at the worried expression on his face on the obviously exhausted boys face. His hair was a mess as he wore a jumper and some jeans, the belt on but not yet clasped. James stepped back to allow the boy in, whose nose had scrunched up as he got closer to the living room, followed closely by James.

“Prongs it absolutely reeks of blood in here....”

His voice trailed off as his eyes landed on the scrunched up figure on the sofa. The way Sirius’ was tilted showed off the dark red bruise covering half of his face, and the blanket low enough to show what looked like the imprint of a hand wrapped around his neck in blue marks. The rest of his body covered, hiding the true horrors.

“Padfoot...” Remus murmured softly, slowly approaching the curled up figure, nose still scrunched up at the smell of blood and fear coming off the boy. Before he could start talking the boy jolted violently and hissed as he rubbed his many wounds, eyes rapidly searching the place for something that the other two boys couldn’t see. James approached slowly, coming to crouch down near him, but not close enough to touch.

“You with us Pads? I brought over Moony as well,” his voice was uncharacteristically soft, breaking slightly. Sirius panted, eyes eventually managing to focus on the two individuals in front of him.

“Shit,” his voice was raspy and barely more than a whisper, “why are you here? why am i here?”

Remus felt his heart break at the sound of the boys voice, usally loud and obnoxious, it was now raspy and broken, filled with confusion and fear.

James stepped forward, causing Sirius to flinch back slightly, “you arrived here really hurt... I don’t know what happened but... I’m glad you’re here Sirius,” James smiles at the boy, who still looked confused.

“But I.. I nearly got Snape killed and Remus you.. almost, I— I shouldn’t be here, I don’t deserve your forgiveness,” Sirius’ eyes flickered between the boys nervously, as if expecting either one of them to attack him at any given moment. 

Remus was flooded with guilt. After having ignored his best friend and crush for weeks, he had missed the obvious signs of his friend hurting. His mind flicked back to the few occasions he had seen Sirius at Hogwarts, the way his cheeks were sunken and his eyes were lifeless. The way he constantly pulled dow his sleeves as though unconsciously always trying to hide something.

When the two of them had been getting a lot closer in less platonic ways, Remus had seen Sirius’ body without the glamour. At that time despite the muscle, his arms from his wrists to the crook of his elbow were littered in white scars, some thick, some small and barely visible. He had seen the this bulging scars on Sirius’ back, that looked like it could’ve been from a knife a belt a cane or worse. He’d seen the way Sirius would flinch at loud noises and touch. The way his eyes would flash with fear when someone got into his personal space. The times he would shut down completely, wallowing in his depression, missing his classes to stay in bed, only eating when Remus basically fed him, due to him believing he ‘doesn’t deserve food’.

Despite all of that Remus still abandon and rejected him, and he felt the guilt of that drown him as he looked at the battered boy.

“Sirius.” His voice was soft and passive despite the war of emotions going on inside. “I’m so sorry.” The boys grey eyes flashed in confusion,

“you’ve got nothing to be sorry about. I fucked up and betrayed you and ruined our friendship. You’ve got nothing to apologise for.” His grey eyes flashed with conviction despite the fact that his voice was barely audible.

Remus reached out hesitantly, taking is a positive sign when Sirius didn’t move away he slowly encased his large hands over Sirius’ painfully thin ones, rubbing his thumbs over his roughly scarred knuckles.

“But I do have to apologise. Because despite everything I know about you, about everything you’ve been through,” Sirius looked away, obviously understanding Remus’ reference to his multitude of scars, “despite that I still abandoned you instead of hearing you out and trying to understand what you did. I mean what you did was horrific and stupid, but I should have tried better to understand the situation rather than just letting my emotions get the better of me. And for that I’m truly sorry.”

He reached out slowly towards Sirius’ face, feeling even more guilty when the boy flinched slightly as he gently cradled Sirius’ chin, raising his head so the grey eyes met the ethereal yellow ones, accompanied by a soft smile.

“So, once you’re better, we all, James and Peter included, will listen to you’re side of the story. I promise.”

Sirius’ eyes filled with tears as his lips quirked up for the first time in many weeks.

_ “Thank you.” _


End file.
